There are fewer things more frustrating to we, citizens of the first world, then a job search. And in today’s brave new world, they seem to be getting longer, more arduous, and more frequent. If you’re having trouble getting people to see your resume, if you’re losing hope, if your existential consciousness is slowly being crushed by the sobering realization that all you’re doing is throwing your resume around in cyberspace and screaming into your computer screen, not only are you not alone, you’re right.
Here is a tough truth about the modern job market: most resumes are never actually read by humans in an HR department, and when they are they only get six seconds of review time on average. In fact, most resumes are spit out before human eyes even see them. That’s because these days firms use computer programs to filter through resumes and look for certain key words. And if your resume doesn’t make the cut, more like then not it will never be seen except by cold, heartless robot eyes.
But there is good news: you can still get a real human person to see your resume if you know the right tricks.
- Keep It Simple: Keep your resume’s formatting simple and easy to read. Resume filtering programs can’t handle documents with over-the-top fonts, letterheads, or graphical logos, and will chuck them automatically.
- Paraphrase the Job Post: Rosemary Haefner of careerbuilder.com suggests using similar words and phrases as found in the job post itself to sneak it past the resumebot’s filters. ““The computer will then recognize them and move your resume toward the top of the pile because you will be a match,” Haefner points out. Just be sure not to actually copy and paste the job post in your resume; most hiring managers won’t take kindly to that and may consider it unethical.
- Don’t bother with a “career objective”: Increasingly, articles and Human Resources wizards are telling frantic job seekers not to put a career objective on their resume for one simple reason: the prospective employer doesn’t care about it. Try replacing the career objective with qualifications that help the employer visualize why you’d be their best fit.
- Use Industry Terms to Describe Experience: When listing your employment experience on a resume, don’t get flowery. Once you get past the firewall, The Merchant of Venice won’t be reading your application, but someone with industry experience is. Use common industry terms because those terms are likely what the software is being programmed to pick up on.
If all else fails and you still find yourself in the pit of despair, do whatever you can (within professional reason) to get your resume in front of an employer. A friend of mine from college landed her dream job because she drew a death-metal viking pony on her resume (in crayon, no less) and it got passed around the office (not recommending that, just encouraging you, dear reader, to be creative). Resumebot is ruthless and powerful, but its oppression can only go far. A little commonsense and thinking like a computer can get any resume around resumebots and into the hands of actual people who make actual decisions about actual jobs.
Today’s post comes care of Facebook and Issac, who gave DSW sorcerer M some responses to the above. For your enjoyment:
Leaning forward can help with attentiveness.
Exclaiming in pain when a character gets injured due to trying to put yourself into the position of that character.
Finding which way to go means you’re going to miss out on opportunities in other areas.
Magnum bullets are usually the ammo for a very powerful gun, thus having enough in a situation that warrants it is a good backup.
Buying all the skills not only gives the satisfaction of full completion, but also of being able to try things out if wanted.
Tutorials are designed to guide someone through something, it would be like having to take English 101 at the beginning of every class that had writing in it.
Tutorials are designed to be easy (normally), thus if you died in it, it means you failed at something “easy” and pride could take a hit.
If it’s the enemies health, it could be to try something out at a time where you can recover easily. If it’s your own health, you’re probably going to die anyway, might as well try something riskier that could win it for you.
Sometimes it’s nice to blow off some steam or see those big numbers.
Most everyone is an annoying little shit
Competitiveness between “rival” factions. Much like sports, politics, or any other group that can be separated into factions.
Sometimes they record the voices too quiet, or the person has a peculiar way of speaking, or you need to keep your volume down but still want to know what they’re saying.
Stay salty, DSW faithful,
It’s a little late, but here’s a fun Valentine’s card for the nerd in your life. For added points, say the whole thing out loud in the hammiest voice you can muster. Trust me, it’s worth the attempt.
Until next time,
I remembered a line from a poem I must have read years ago. William Henley’s Invictus is a fantastic work of defiance of an uncontrolled life; one of the greatest ways I know to tell the fates and the gods to put a sock in it and let us have our way for once; that we have to grab the universe by the shorthairs and pull.
“I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.”
Perhaps, in the whole of poetic tradition, such powerful lines had never been written before, and not since. Maybe that’s true, maybe that’s a sign that I should read more. Actually, one should always read more.
It’s funny that what reminded me of Henley’s poem was a tagline from a show. “As for the science, it may be negative. However, do not forget the thing that there is a scientific side in all the one. The important one is true. of me the ruler of my fate and me also the commander of my soul.”
The English isn’t great, but I think it gets the point across. Also, the lack of capitalization in the final statement is intentional, at least on my part. But in trying to make sense of this Engrish, I took a stab at my own version.
“It is true that the outcome of experimentation may not always be to our satisfaction.
However, never forget that there is a side to everything that can be explained by learning.
This is important to remember:
that I am the ruler of my fate and the commander of my soul.”
I’m certainly not a master poet, but I do know when something works for me.
Until next time,
Originally seen here.
Just a short rant post today.
I was wandering around the glorious place known as the internet when I came across a forum post entitled “I hate talking.”
From what I gleaned from this, the author had a serious problem with television shows and anime in particular where the characters take time to talk out a problem or some in-universe issue.
Positive case in point: Ghost In The Shell – Stand Alone Complex. All the Chief does most episodes where he appears is talk. But I love this aspect of GITS. As the head of the open-secret special operations group Section Nine, Chief Arimaki’s smallest remarks (all the way to his full blown political, social, and scientific debates) reveal more story and setting than most pieces of media do in an entire season – in an entire run of a show.
But for the counterpoint, watch the first episode of Lucky Star.
How do you eat a chocolate cornet, DSW Faithful?
Marco Rubio is having his fifteen minutes (we’ll momentarily ignore the irony that everyone getting their fifteen minutes of fame is fundamentally a socialist concept) and this has led to a consensus that he’s emerging as the GOP’s anti-Trump and most likely to win the nomination at this point. I remain a bit skeptical, simply because the GOP field has a habit of going through repetitive cycles where one of its candidates surges and then falls apart a few weeks later.
At the moment, Marco’s eating into Trump’s support in New Hampshire and already lining up support in other early states but for the moment at least his road to the nomination remains long. New Hampshire is a primary state, meaning the polling on that state is going to be more accurate because the primary itself is more straightforward: people walk into voting booths and pull a lever for their preference. That means there’s a good chance Trump is more likely to win in New Hampshire then he ever was in Iowa.
I think the big difference coming out of Iowa for the GOP is the money factor. No one in the GOP donor class is acting as if Rubio’s third place finish in Iowa is going to make the primary significantly less painful for Republicans, at least not yet (that may change if Rubio takes a close second somehow in NH). But it does signal to the donor class that Rubio is now a viable candidate, worthy of an ever-growing share of their financial attention, and that definitely makes a difference. GOP donors have so far stayed out of their party’s primary, presumably because they didn’t see a promising investment yet and wanted to wait until at least one contest was finished as a way of taking the Republican primary electorate’s pulse. But I think that’ll start to change. I think a lot of donors are beginning to decide they see a pulse in a Rubio candidacy and are becoming increasingly ready to go all-in for him.
Hopefully, that’s not the case. Because if there’s one thing that could be worse for the country than a Texas Republican, it’s a Florida Republican.
If you’ve ever been to Epcot at the Disney World resort in Florida, you probably know this drink straight from Hell. But even if I hate the taste, even if it sticks in my mouth for hours after the fact; it’s a personal tradition to take a shot of the terrible soda on each visit. I think it has something to do with something Van said on the NetCot podcast something like five years ago. Or maybe I made it up. I don’t actually remember.
But do remember: drink the Beverly.
Until next time,