BUSH CAMPAIGN CONTINUES TO FLAIL WITH CHEST BUMP

The Hill posted yesterday yet another piece of evidence that the presidential aspirations of Jeb Bush are unraveling fast enough to possibly slow rotation of the earth by raw force alone. In a statement that is somehow more awkward then his previous one about eating nails when he wakes up, Bush made this almost comically desperate campaign recruitment push:

““I do that [chest bumping] for every convert…Anytime you guys want to try a chest bump, I’m all in.”

Bush’s increasingly desperate appeals to an electorate he seems unable to understand are at least the proximate result of his being thrashed in the polls almost since he started his presidential run a few months ago. The idea that his entry into the race for the GOP nomination would unite the party and discourage challengers could not at this moment seem any more wrong-headed. Even though the race is getting more personal for Bush–in the last debate he was beaten by his former political protege Marco Rubio–he seems incapable of responding. His strategists are equally incapable of stopping Bush’s nosedive: this fist-bump incident, the latest in what I can only describe as a dedicated attempt to infuse Mr. Bush with the blended personalities of a frat boy and middle-aged accountant, has only underscored that much more how fast the campaign is losing altitude.

To be honest, it’s insulting how disingenuous it all is, how much the fist bump reference isn’t like Jeb Bush. It’s so unlike him I literally could not find an image of him chest-bumping someone for this article. And even the idea of a man with Bush’s robotic personality chest-bumping people for votes is so outlandish that late night comedians should be paying him for their material. Now opening bets on when he drops out.

-G

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BUSH CAMPAIGN CONTINUES TO FLAIL WITH CHEST BUMP

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